10 CAR STICKERS WHICH IMMEDIATELY TELL YOU ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE DRIVER

Carnivorousness 10 stickers on cars to avoid

 

  1. Methodist metal fish – Avoid eye contact. If you do, look away and get the hell out of there
  2. GB stickers – Booze cruisers called Dave and Jean who hail from Hull, whose respective parents’ wife swapped a few too many times back in the day
  3. VOTE DUKAKIS – They’re hopelessly lost (i.e, on/in the wrong continent/country/state/neighbourhood/time)
  4. ‘My Other Car is a Porsche’ – Still lives at home with octogenarian parents. The ‘other’ car they refer to is an old Cortina which has sat under a tarpaulin on said parent’s drive for best part of three decades
  5. ‘Earn Extra Money’ – And you too could afford a 2004 Kia Sedona
  6. Princess on Board/family of stick people – Raging maelstrom of PMT at the wheel of a road-going missile, usually manufactured by Vauxhall. Alternatively, ‘Beware! Eating disorder sufferer’s day out’
  7. Outline of the Nurburgring – Have accounts/spiralling debts with at least 5 chat line operators
  8. “If only my wife was as dirty as this van” (typically written with finger on dusty surface area) – Sex pest
  9. Don’t follow me, follow God – Spend 80% of their lives penning letters of complaint to the BBC about slipping broadcasting standards
  10. ‘If you can read this then you’re too close’ – Attends every self-help group meeting available at their local community centre
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